The day of my accident began normally, with the early morning sun poking holes through the make-shift shade my husband rigged up the night before. Daylight came early in Honduras so no alarm clock was needed to get us up and going. Because of the glaring rays bouncing off the window panes, I had to squint to distinguish objects below. Suddenly the lyrics to a familiar song framed the scene.
“The sun comes up; it’s a new day dawning; it’s time to sing your song again;
whatever may pass and whatever lies before me…
let me be singing when the evening comes.
My mind quietly rehearsed this song as I walked across the room to pick up my journal. Jotting down the words to remind me that no matter what was behind or before, I wanted to always have a song. Never did I imagine the “whatever lies before me” of this day. Even though my intentions were good, who knew if Karen would really be singing when the evening came?
Even before I was pulled up off the ground, I wondered why it happened. Lying flat on my back surrounded by the poverty of a developing world country, no song came. With morphine dulling the pain and facing the fact that my hip was truly broken (and I was thousands of miles from home), tears brought comfort. Sobbing, gut wrenching cries helped release some of the fears of my future well-being. Doubts haunted me. Hadn’t we prayed? Where was my Protector? It was a question I had to settle in my heart and mind.
So, in the midst of the pain. In the midst of the confusion. In the midst of the challenges…it was up to me to believe my Protector was still there. Even though I questioned His attributes at that moment, I had to go back to what I knew was true.
My situation did not change His character.
He was still the same God He was before the accident. I could not doubt in the dark what God told me in the light. Even though my senses lied to me, my faith had to hold me together. It was up to me. No one could do it for me. God planned out all of my days and controlled my circumstances. He would work all the things together for good.
As darkness encompassed that Honduran hospital room so far from the comforts of home, I was reminded to sing, “Whatever may pass or whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes.”
A lot has happened in the past five weeks. A mission trip with Mission of Mercy was cut short by my broken hip. There were days of pain, surgery and therapy. Family and friends camped out by my side. Prayer support kept me going. I’m walking on my own now and I’m filled with hope. The pain is behind me. But I don’t want to forget those moments when my faith was shaken. When I had to remind myself of Truth.
I don’t know what your “evening” has brought you. You may be walking through the darkest days of your life, much worse than anything I have described here. But whatever has passed, may I encourage you to go back to what you know. He is still the same no matter what! He is still your Protector. He is still your Provider. He is still your Stability.
If you’re wondering where God is right now, let the illustration below remind you He is right there by you. You just have to believe…and don’t forget to keep singing.
